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Why
I Missed the 35th
Reunion
of the Class of ‘69
OR
Don’t
Back Up The Truck Into the Bay!
by
Thurston Lamberson
It was the
week before the Class Reunion and we were getting ready to head for
Iowa
via a nice long auto trip. This is
not unusual as my grandchildren and son and daughter-in-law are awaiting our
arrival each year that we come. The
plan is to leave on Thursday morning, make a nice two day drive to
Klemme
,
Iowa
, arriving Friday afternoon late, and then getting well rested and ready to
attend the following day's class reunion for the Class of '69.
Simple plan, really. What
could possible go wrong with a plan like that?
First
order of business, as we are in hurricane season at this point, is to fasten
down the house perimeter and get the boat on the trailer and off dockside - just
in case. One never knows what is
going to happen in hurricane season. Now
behind the house and to my immediate east is US 19. At
the end of our channel is a make-shift boat ramp that the locals have been using
for years and years to put in their fishing boats, etc., on the weekends. Unfortunately,
over the years, the sand ramp has silted in, become less and less available to
the larger boats and is now to the point where only the smallest skiffs are able
to launch from there.
We
normally have to put in and take out the boat at a public concrete ramp of the
City of
Palmetto
. It is about 10 miles or so away
(by water) over on the Bradenton River and straight south of the house, so
it’s a bit of a pain in the ass, but we do what we have to do. However,
on this lovely day, it happened to be low tide and it seemed to me that the
water’s edge was right there at the end of the channel! Just
looked that way, you know. So, in my
everlasting attempt to achieve full efficiency, I decided to give it a try prior
to making the run to the Palmetto dock. This
simply involved backing the trailer into the water a ways and seeing if we could
catch enough water at the channel to submerge the trailer and load the boat.
So off I
went! Straight back into good old
Terra
Ceia
Bay
. At some 20 feet from shore with
the front of my GMC Yukon (backend first, of course), my trailer was still fully
visible above the water line! Damn. This
is not going to work. So I dropped
it in “Drive” and proceeded to intend to head toward shore. That
idea came to a grinding halt when, with the first touch of the accelerator, the
back end of the
Yukon
sunk to the chassis in the mud! Ouchhh!
So, there I sat, water just touching the exhaust pipe, 6 inches below the
doors or so, and no way to move. No
big deal however. I have friends. I
own trucks and they are not far away. So,
via radio, I called two employees, Brad and Charles. These
are both
Iowa
boys, by the way. Brad is Brad
Dorenkamp, IFHS Class of '70. Charles
is Charles (Tuna) Schermer from
Hampton
,
Iowa
. They will come running to my aid!
And so
they did. Brad brought the straps
needed to hook us up. Tuna brought
his 4-wheel drive Chevy. Just what
the doctor ordered. Unfortunately,
it didn't work that way for some reason. That
Yukon
turned out to be a heavy little bugger and the Chevy turned out to have the 4
wheel drive not working. Who would
know in
Florida
, without pulling it out into the Bay to check it out, that your 4-wheel drive
wasn't working? No snow to get ‘er
stuck in! So an hour or better was
wasted with this first removal effort. Now
this isn't any really big deal at this point. No
one has left for the other shore with the boat yet or anything. Sun's
still high and there is plenty of day left. However,
one little problem is creeping up. The
tide seems to wait for no one and is slowly returning to Terra Ceia. This
throws a little urgency into the mix, of course.
So my next
move is to radio the next door neighbor and have him call the tow truck. He
does so and explains the situation and reports back that the tow company will be
there in about an hour. Well, that
may be cutting it a little close, but what the heck. I
just need to keep the engine running as the exhaust pipe is now fully submerged
and loosing the engine now will surely suck salt water into its belly.
Then, a miracle happens! A
young man in a little car drives by in his business suit, stops to witness the
debacle at sea, and informs us that he has a big Ford 4X4 with 30" wheels
and blah blah blah, and he can be back in 10 minutes with the truck and have me
out of there in no time. Well,
halleluiah! So his offer is
graciously accepted and off he goes to get his truck.
Well,
there's no way that he won't get me out, so I call the neighbor and tell him to
cancel the tow truck! Why pay the
$60.00 for too late help when this guy is going to make the tug for the bragging
rights alone? Needless to say, it
took much longer than 10 minutes for him to change, return to the shoreline, and
hook up. But I must say, the size of
his equipment was impressive! Once
we were all securely fastened together, he gave it hell. In
the next 30 minutes, we broke three heavy crane lifting straps and a log chain. He
spun those 30" tires like they were toy fans!
Total distance moved by the
Yukon
during that time period: 0 Feet, 0
Inches! Total rise in tidal water
during same period: 8 inches. Score:
Bay, 8, me, nothin'.
I thanked
him for the effort. I immediately
called the neighbor, who made me write down the number to the towing company
this time! It took another 45
minutes to get them out there. By
the time the tow truck arrived, I could no longer keep the engine running. The
backpressure on the exhaust system was too great for the engine to overcome at
any RPM and she finally died. Salt
water was lapping at the carpet in the back door and the side doors. I
was unable to exit the vehicle without flooding it and another few minutes would
take care of that. The wrecker let
out his cable, hooked to my
Yukon
, set its wheels firmly, and gently tugged me to shore.
Didn't even moan! As soon as
I was out, I restarted the vehicle. It
started, but it was running quite roughly on something less that 8 cylinders.
However, I
was able to be on my way, get the boat out of the water at the public ramp and
return home after a long afternoon. I
expected it to start running better at any moment, but that didn't happen. The
next day (now it’s Monday), I had my heavy equipment mechanic take apart all
the wheel bearings, joints, etc., that could get salt water intrusion and clean
and repack them. The entire
underside of the vehicle was gone through. He
also changed all the fluids in the engine and tuned it up. None
of this remedied the problem of the missing cylinders, however. So,
on Tuesday, I took it to the GMC dealership. We
knew there was salt water in the fuel tank so we informed them of that. They
told me they would have it ready Wednesday morning.
The next
day came around and sure enough, the GMC was ready. I
sent Charles down to pick it up as I was loaded down with other things, and off
he went with another driver. However,
the
Yukon
made it 6 blocks from the dealership and quit entirely!
Wouldn't run at all! Had to
have it towed back. So at that point
I communicated the urgency of the situation as I needed to hit the road early
Thursday morning. It was understood
and they promised it would be handled. It
wasn't. Thursday morning arrived,
and they were still working on it, unable to determine the problem. However,
I was assured that the best of the best was now on it and it would be ready for
a departure later that day. This
went on until Friday afternoon, one hour at a time. On
Friday afternoon, it was determined that the fuel pump that they had installed
was bad and they would have to order a new one. It
would be there first thing Tuesday, right after the 4th of July weekend!
At 8:00
P.M. Friday evening, we drove off away from the Dealership in a new GMC
4-wheel drive
Yukon
(the one that I traded was only a year older) Denali and at two o'clock A.M.
Saturday morning, the day of the Reunion, I left for
Iowa
. Of course, there was no way that I
would make the reunion at that point. I
arrive in Klemme Sunday afternoon at around 5:00 p.m., very disappointed and
just a bit disgusted with myself for having so foolishly thought that I could
teach the Big Green Yukon how to swim!
Thurston Lamberson
©2006 Thurston Lamberson
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